Cheater's Guide Lasagna Feast

 Classic lasagna is such an easy dish to prepare even if you don't use the cheater's guide that follows.  It tastes like a million bucks whatever you do...but, you must use the finest of ingredients. It's the perfect company dish and with the best of wine, you will be considered a saint of a hostess when you have your next dinner party. However this being said, I'm positive you have been making this dish all wrong!!!

To begin with, the classic lasagna dish is made with a fancy Béchamel sauce or in common layman's term, a basic white sauce made from butter, flour, and milk. Betcha been using a ricotta or a cottage cheese mixture. Well, stop it. Simply make the white sauce. Now, you can cheat on the next step. For the authentic red sauce you can make your own or use Newman's Sockarooni Sauce because it's fabulous, cheap, and proceeds go 100% toward his charity. Whatta guy! You cannot go wrong with a Paul Newman sauce. Next, sauté some bitesize veggies in olive oil such as onion, bell pepper, carrots, and zucchini, add the best of ground round, garlic powder, salt, pepper, basil, and oregano. Brown till done, then  throw in the Sockarooni sauce and you're almost there!

Ok, now for the assembly. Serious stuff here. Grab the best sliced and grated mozzarella and parmesan cheese you can afford, your Béchamel sauce, red meat sauce mixture, no boil noodles and begin. Spray a 9x13 inch lasagna pan (if you haven't already, go buy a real lasagna pan because life's too short not to have a REAL lasagna pan), layer red meat sauce, then add the noodles, next top with Béchamel sauce, red meat sauce, mozzarella cheese, parmesan cheese, and do it all over again. Top row should have noodles, red meat sauce,  sprinkle with mozzarella and parmesan cheeses. Cover tightly in foil, bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes, uncover and bake for another 5 minutes. Let it rest before cutting.  Serve with a simple salad of marinated tomatoes, bell peppers, red onion, oregano, basil, parmesan cheese, and (another excellent cheat) Olive Garden Salad Dressing you can get at Dollar General. If you really want to show off, add a chopped avocado. Finally, serve this feast with those ooey, gooey, buttery garlic New York Bread Sticks from the frozen section at your friendly neighborhood grocer. They are to Di for. Now, for the crowning glory (which actually makes it all spectacular). Choose a wonderful ripe, juicy red wine. or a Pinot Noir.  Spend a little money on this and buy enough for everyone to have a great Cheater's Lasagna Feast soon. Oh, and for dessert, cheat and simply serve sherbet (in your best stemmed dessert crystal glassware (time to buy some if you don't have any).